Sick Days

No parent enjoys dealing with a sick kid.  Dealing with a sick gifted kid has challenges all their own.
Bug has had strep throat five times so far this school year.  This case is especially difficult because it has been combined with the seasonal flu.  He has been home from school for a week at this point and I am wondering when he'll ever get better enough to go back to class.
The school (and the doctor) require 24 hours fever free without the assistance of any fever reducers.  So far, we haven't had a fever free night.  Granted the last couple days haven't been terrible but each night his fever goes up and during the day although he is hacking and coughing, he is fever free.
I know he is going stir crazy.  Over the last couple days I have taught him to crochet (every young man should know at least one dying art that has primarily been "women's work").  Baking is another skill set I enjoy sharing with him but flu season isn't conducive to making tasty treats......Lysol tainted  gingersnaps just don't sound appealing.
He is making some afghan squares for a charity project I happened upon at the craft store the other day and that has kept him somewhat busy.  Of course, he is also filling in time with his make up school work but I worry he is rotting his brain on video games and cartoons.
I want to keep his mind stimulated but when your child is sick it's hard to put too many demands on them.
The first five days he was on the couch barely sitting up to take his medicine and drink a some juice but now he is feeling better and yet not totally over the sickness.
It sucks!  It sucks for him and it sucks for me.
I'm on can number three of Lysol, I've cleaned puke off the living room carpet and have fallen behind on my laundry duties(the last load got musty in the washer because I never transferred them to the dryer).  I feel overwhelmed by all the late nights sleeping with one eye open in fifteen minute increments with my hand on his chest making sure he isn't too hot and keeping up on my responsibilities at work on a couple hours sleep.
It is daunting.
All parents deal with it.  I know, it isn't any different than anyone else's experiences with a sick kid at home.
I ask, do all kids look at you after three days of no solid food and proclaim that they are going to die?  That humans can't live without eating?
Do they go into a thirty minute monologue on the ravages the streptococcal virus has on a growing heart and how he'll most likely suffer heart disease by the time he is fifty?
Have you ever heard about an eight year old who researched tonsillectomies and the probability that he will have a re-occurrence of the strep infection with or without his tonsils?
I tie most of his idiosyncrasies to his giftedness but maybe just maybe he is simply  a little dramatic.

Either way, he is so funny.  I can't help but smile when he goes on and on.  I smile when I think about how he can amuse himself for hours with just some yarn and a crochet hook because although it is hard and no one wants to see their lil guy suffer,these days together are memories in the making and I hope he remembers the little things like me making his soup (vegan chicken noodle) and not the burrito I thought would be fine right up until he threw up all over the living room floor, that I hope he forgets.

Pushy and Opininated

So.......... I can be opinionated.  I can be in your face and loud.  I often think my way is the best way and others probably aren't as knowledgeable about a given subject than I am.  I am all these things (if I allow myself to be.)  Over the years, I have realized that other's opinions matter (and occasionally provide insight), that a whisper is often heard more than screaming (people will actually strain their neck and stop talking) and there are as many ways as there are people to do things.   There is a lot of gray and a lot less black and white in the world I live in today but that isn't how it has always been.
And here we go starting over again.  My son is just like me in so many ways.  He likes to make the rules.  He likes to control the situation and do things "his way".
It makes it hard when he is making new friends.  So, I find that more often than not he has been doing things on his own, not including other kids just so he can make all the decisions.
He recently had a school project in which the teacher gave the students the option of doing the project as group or alone.   Bug chose to do his by himself.  I asked why and he gave me a brush off reason of this way it assured he would be the one whom got to take the project home at the end.  I'm sure that was true but I think there was more to it than just gaining ownership of a finished model.  I don't think he was willing to compromise on the vision of the project in which he had in his mind.
It's his way or the highway.
He's eight.  I don't let him rule my home and make all the decisions but from the time he was a baby I have always valued him as a person and I have allowed him to decide upon things like whether he would like chicken noodle or tomato soup for lunch or what pajamas he's going to wear to bed.  When he didn't want to cut his hair I let it grow out long.  Yeah, waiters would comment on how cute "she" but he eventually lost the long curls and now sports a typical "boys" cut.
Children are individuals, they are not little extensions of ourselves as much as some parents would like to believe and I feel like he needs to make decisions.
All this being said, I now wonder if in giving him the freedom to make his own decisions have I created a control freak?  Will he ever be flexible enough to allow others to make decisions for him?   Will he be the 90 year old man in the nursing home unwilling to give his 60 year old son power of attorney for fear of losing control?
We have been working on compromise and flexibility in situations.  I've had to put my foot down on things lately.
He's at a new school and he's in a class with kids a full year or two older than himself.  He is seeing that not everyone values his opinion like we do.  Socially the world has ways of making us conform.  The last thing I want is for him to lose himself but somewhere along the line I feel his peers (and myself) will help him to see that there are many ways to a positive result.  It doesn't always have to be his way for it to be comfortable or right.

Of course, I am very new to blogging and my intention isn't to gain a million readers and become a famous Mommy Blogger or to quit my full time job. I just want to share my experiences in raising an exceptional child with any of you who may be in the same boat and are wondering what this all means for you and your family.  Gifted identification is a double edged sword, on one hand it means that your child may learn at an accelerated rate and test higher than others of his/her age group but it also comes with a series of behavioral issues that aren't always easily handled with a simple "Because I am the Mom and I said so" response.
When I began thinking that testing for gifted was needed I went to the interweb to see what was out there as far a resources for parents like myself.  I found some Yahoo Groups, studies from various psychologists and a lot of sites trying to sell products to ensure my child would pass the tests and qualify.  The best sites I have found are:

Hoagies' Gifted Education

National Association for Gifted Children

Davidson Institute



A smart child isn't necessarily a gifted child, some characteristics of a gifted child are:

• Reasons well (good thinker)
• Learns rapidly
• Has extensive vocabulary
• Has an excellent memory
• Has a long attention span (if interested)
• Sensitive (feelings hurt easily)
• Shows compassion
• Perfectionistic
• Intense
• Morally sensitive
• Has strong curiosity
• Perseverant in their interests
• Has high degree of energy
• Prefers older companions or adults
• Has a wide range of interests
• Has a great sense of humor
• Early or avid reader (if too young to read, loves being read to)
• Concerned with justice, fairness
• Judgment mature for age at times
• Is a keen observer
• Has a vivid imagination
• Is highly creative
• Tends to question authority
• Has facility with numbers
• Good at jigsaw puzzles

The Process

I started noticing my son wasn't like other kids shortly after his birth.  When he was only days old he would try to sit up on his own.  We would joke that he was working on his "six pack" because he would do what looked liked crunches over and over while I changed him.
Once he was a toddler the changes were almost daily in his development.  He walked young (9 months), he was potty trained by his 2nd birthday.  It was one milestone after another.
My main concern was his speech.  At 2, he wasn't saying much.  I spoke to a child psychologist who gave me some pointers (make him ask me before I give him anything). As a new mom I was self employed and able to spend a lot of time with him during the day.  I knew when he wanted juice and not milk or a particular snack and therefore he rarely needed to talk because his needs were being met.  Within a few months his vocabulary had quadrupled.
I am not saying any of this to brag, if you have a gifted child you know that is a difficult road.
During the toddler years he would become interested in a certain topic and become so obsessed with it he would want to know every single thing he could find out.  It started with the normal boy stuff dinosaurs, zoo animals, etc.  Anything science related still interests him.
By the time we were thinking about Pre-K, I was well aware Bug was far beyond other 4 year old children in his interests and abilities.
I immediately began looking into early enrollment into Kindergarten.  He past the testing for early enrollment and before I knew it my lil 4 year guy was a Kindergartner.
I will always remember his first day of school.  I didn't want to leave the classroom.  I knew of course that he would be fine but it just seemed like yesterday that I was bringing him home from the hospital in his little yellow ducky outfit and here he was all dressed up for his first day of school.
As I picked him up that afternoon,  the first thing out of his mouth was that he would not be returning the next day.  I asked why and he looked me directly in the eye and said it was pointless for him to go because he is smarter than his teacher and it isn't his job to teach her things she should already know.  I knew that day that the road ahead for us was going to be an interesting one and I knew for certain I didn't have an average kid.